OLD AGE
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The other day a young person asked me how I felt about
being old. I was taken aback, for I do not think of myself
as old. Upon seeing my reaction, she was immediately
embarrassed, but I explained that it was an interesting
question, and I would ponder it, and let her know.
Old age, I decided, is a gift. I am now, probably for the
first time in my life, the person I have always wanted to
be. Oh, not my body! I sometime despair over my body-the
wrinkles, the baggy eyes, and the sagging butt. And often
I am taken aback by that old person that lives in my mirror
, but I don't agonize over those things for long.
I would never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life,
my loving family for less gray hair or a flatter belly. As
I've aged, I've become more kind to myself, and less
critical of myself. I've become my own friend. I don't
chide myself for eating that extra cookie, or for not
mak ing my bed, or for buying that silly cement gecko that I
didn't need, but looks so avant garde on my patio. I am
entitled to overeat, to be messy, to be extravagant. I have
seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon;
before they understood the great freedom that comes with
aging.
Whose business is it if I choose to read until 4 AM, and
sleep untilnoon? I will dance with myself to those
wonderful tunes of the 40's, 50's and 60's, and if I at
the same time wish to weep over a lost love, I will. I will
walk the beach in a swim suit that is stretched over a
bulging body, and will dive into the waves with abandon if
I choose to, despite the pitying glances from the bikini
set. They, too, will get old.
I know I am sometimes forgetful. But there again, some of
life is just as well forgotten -- and I eventually remember
the important things. Sure, over the years my heart has
been broken. How can your heart not break when you lose a
loved one, or when a child suffers, or even when a beloved
pet dies? But broken hearts are what give us strength and
understanding and compassion. A heart never broken is
pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of being
imperfect.
I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair
turn gray, and to have my youthful laughs be forever
etched into deep groove on my! face. So many have never
laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn
silver. I can say "no," and mean it. I can say "yes," and
mean it. As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You
care less about what other people think. I don't question
myself anymore. I've even earned the right to be wrong.
So, to answer your question, I like being old. It has set
me free. I like the person I have become. I am not going
to live forever, but while I am still here, I will not
waste time lamenting what could have been,
or worrying about what will be. And I shall eat dessert
every single day.
- (Author Unknown)
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